1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:03,169 (alarm buzzing) 2 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:11,970 (siren wailing) (alarm buzzing) 3 00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:17,350 (heartbeat thumps) 4 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,479 (birds squawking) 5 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:24,897 - [Jonathan] I was only in my 20s, 6 00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,776 the first time I saw a dead body. 7 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,613 You never forget that, really. 8 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:34,032 Until the moment of your last breath, 9 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,952 it sticks with you until the very end. 10 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,204 It did, for me. 11 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:41,414 For generations, US children have played 12 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:44,125 with little plastic green army men. 13 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,295 (chuckles) I did. 14 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,504 Along with other war toys, they contribute 15 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:51,382 to the socialization of some young boys 16 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:55,096 into the idea that war is an exciting and heroic adventure. 17 00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,477 I know now that has never been more wrong. 18 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,981 (engine revs) 19 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:08,902 (muffled rock music) 20 00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:16,324 (upbeat rock music) 21 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,160 - Oh! 22 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:20,997 Yeah. 23 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,419 (upbeat rock music continues) 24 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,381 - So, I go to this girl's party, 25 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:34,509 and it's about a week after she just beats 26 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,554 the living shit outta my friend, right? 27 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:38,554 And I do a little recon. 28 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,601 While everyone's getting trashed, I find this back window. 29 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,230 "Mission Impossible" myself in there. (chuckles) 30 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,067 And I did my thing. 31 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:52,610 - Dude. 32 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,736 Shut up. 33 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:55,571 - Stop. I'm, I'm, I'm serious, man! 34 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:56,948 I'm telling you! 35 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:01,955 I went around and I put tuna in every single curtain rod. 36 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,955 For weeks, they're trying to figure out why this place 37 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,082 smells like festering death, right? 38 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,920 I mean, just, just god awful rotten. 39 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,548 She starts going to the pussy doctor. 40 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,216 Yeah! 41 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,510 She thinks she's festerin' up the place. 42 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,053 A little fire in the hole. 43 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,639 Boom! (laughs) 44 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,017 - Dude, you are sick. 45 00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:25,309 You know that, right? 46 00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:26,146 - Sick who? 47 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,897 They wronged me. That's just the way it goes, man. 48 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,691 Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. 49 00:02:31,693 --> 00:02:33,653 - How did you talk me into this? 50 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,820 - Beats the hell outta me. 51 00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,822 - Fucking hot as shit! 52 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,198 (AC unit rattles) 53 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,825 Come on, you piece of shit. 54 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,661 Shit. 55 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:45,663 - Come on! 56 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,915 You're glad you came! 57 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:48,793 - Yeah. No. 58 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,420 - Oh, well, you weren't complaining too much, 59 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:55,466 when you were in line for the El Buffet, last night. 60 00:02:56,384 --> 00:02:57,967 (Speedy sniffs sharply) (women giggling) 61 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,093 - Yee-hah! 62 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,970 - [Woman] Get it, baby! (giggles) 63 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,263 Yeah! 64 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:05,057 Oh! 65 00:03:05,059 --> 00:03:06,102 - Dude, that was you. 66 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,605 - Are you sure? 67 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,441 - Yes. 68 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,528 - Huh. 69 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,113 No, but in all seriousness, 70 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:22,325 it was good to see you smile for once, man. 71 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,536 You worry too damn much. 72 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,121 - I can't help it. 73 00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,664 - Hah-hah! 74 00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,917 Yes, we can. 75 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,126 - Yeah, I'm sure. 76 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:37,133 - Especially if you got a nice 11-inch cock. 77 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,050 - Dude. - Oh, I'm serious, man. 78 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,970 - Uh-huh. - I'm serious. 79 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:44,513 - Dude, what are you fucking doing, man? 80 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,974 - [Speedy] Truck needs a little car wash, baby! 81 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,809 - Man, come on! Dude, come on! 82 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,394 - [Speedy] Woo! 83 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,104 - I told you, not in the truck! 84 00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:54,023 - [Speedy] Little car wash for daddy! 85 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,942 (urine splashes) - Oh! 86 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,401 - [Speedy] Woo! 87 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,945 Come on, man! 88 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,489 You get an anxiety attack if we leave the zip code. 89 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,033 I mean, that's not normal behavior. No fucking way! 90 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,911 Yeah! (urine splashes) 91 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,373 - "Normal". Right! 92 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,253 - You're welcome. 93 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,006 - Dude, we were in Mexico. 94 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:19,217 - Precisely. 95 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,345 (Speedy sighs) 96 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,599 - It was kinda nice. 97 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,308 - Boom! 98 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,560 This is what I'm talkin' about! 99 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,187 That's what I'm talking about, man! 100 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,522 Come on! Loosen up! 101 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,399 Life's too short. 102 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:37,483 Relax. 103 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,484 - Just relax. 104 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:39,320 - Yeah. 105 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,197 - I can do that. 106 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:43,990 - [Speedy] Boo! 107 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,366 - Dude, what? 108 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,535 - Come on, man. Who do you think you're talkin' to? 109 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,412 - I can totally relax! 110 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,248 - All right. 111 00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:53,207 Tell me a joke. Go ahead. 112 00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,377 Come on. Make me laugh. 113 00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:00,631 R-E-L-A- 114 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,426 - Dude, what the fuck, man? I'm fucking driving! 115 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,052 You trying to get us killed? - (chuckles) Oh, my god. 116 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,388 Where did you get your license? 117 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,764 Oh, man. Wake me up when we get there. 118 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:11,100 You drive slower than my grandmother. 119 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,977 (Speedy snores) 120 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,313 - Dude, I'm about to kick your greasy ass out of this car 121 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,648 and make you walk, how's that for relaxed? 122 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,611 - Well, why don't you drop me off at your mom's on the way? 123 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:24,905 - You wish. 124 00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:25,742 - Mm. 125 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,577 That I do. 126 00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,372 That I do. 127 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,305 (can clatters) 128 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,765 - Any more cold ones? 129 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,641 - That's doubtful. 130 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,310 But I can check. 131 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:58,314 - [Radio Host] Among men too on issues like the war itself. 132 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,066 - Hold on. (cans rattling) 133 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,402 Can't reach 'em. 134 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,528 - Did you leave 'em? 135 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,030 - Huh? I, I don't think so. 136 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,201 - [Radio Host] And volunteer in your regular army. 137 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,369 (suspenseful music) 138 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,996 - [Soldier] I did volunteer to come into the service. 139 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:14,830 - [Radio Host] Tell me this, Jobs. 140 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,792 We've lost something over 40,000 men now. 141 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,668 40,000 American lives. 142 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,253 As far you're concerned, it's worth it? 143 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,841 (Speedy giggling) (suspenseful music continues) 144 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,760 - You fuckin' drank 'em, didn't you? 145 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:28,928 - Watch out! 146 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:33,893 (tires screeching) (suspenseful music continues) 147 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,148 - [Jonathan] Dude! What the fuck? 148 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,942 What did we hit? What, what? 149 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,194 (Speedy laughs) 150 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,779 - [Speedy] I'm fuckin' with you, man! 151 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:48,364 (engine struggling to turn over) 152 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,866 - Come on, come on! 153 00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:52,284 Come on! 154 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:53,744 Come on. 155 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,580 Come on. 156 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,875 You got it. You got it. 157 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,459 You got it. Come on. 158 00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:01,295 Shit! 159 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:04,296 (Jonathan sighs) 160 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:06,426 - You tried that about a hundred times, dude. 161 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,513 (Jonathan pants) 162 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,392 - Dude, it's getting cold. You got a sweater? 163 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,353 - Yeah, in the bag. 164 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:26,070 (bag unzips) (cans rattling) 165 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:30,908 - [Jonathan] Speedy, what is this? 166 00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,207 - That is pot. 167 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,544 - Okay, Speedy, I need you to tell me, 168 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,964 I need you to explain to me 169 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:51,427 that we didn't go all the way to Mexico for you to buy pot. 170 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:55,347 (bobblehead rattling) 171 00:07:55,349 --> 00:07:57,558 - We went all the way to Mexico to buy pot. 172 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,392 - Fuck! 173 00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,894 - What? (Jonathan sighs) 174 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,813 - Speedy, I need you to roll down the window 175 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:06,442 and throw that shit out of this car, right now. 176 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,694 (suspenseful music) 177 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:12,072 (bobblehead rattling) 178 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:16,285 (siren buzzes and chirps) 179 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:19,540 (car door clicks open) 180 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:21,710 - Shit. - Shit. 181 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:28,423 (car doors slamming) 182 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:29,674 - I'm stuck, man! - Well, figure it out! 183 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,259 - Yeah, I'm trying! 184 00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,969 - [Jonathan] Okay! Okay. 185 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:36,808 (suspenseful music continues) 186 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:40,310 Dude, fuck! - Okay, uh... 187 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,228 That's good. I got it. 188 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,395 - Okay! Just, just... 189 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:43,563 You got it? - I got it. 190 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,399 Flask. 191 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:50,822 (suspenseful music continues) 192 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,286 - Hello, Officer. 193 00:08:58,539 --> 00:08:59,955 How can I help you? 194 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,917 - [Officer] What you boys doing out here? 195 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:08,088 - Uh, well, we were on a trip and our car broke down. 196 00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:10,551 We were just trying to get back home. That's all. 197 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:17,432 (suspenseful music continues) 198 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,434 - You all right there? 199 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:31,861 (keys clinking) 200 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:34,281 I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle, sir. 201 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:35,200 - Officer... 202 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,868 Like I said, we're just trying to get home. 203 00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:40,662 - [Officer] I need to inspect this vehicle, right now. 204 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:43,039 So, I need the two of you to get outside. 205 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,457 Put your hands on the hood. 206 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,001 - This isn't fucking happening. 207 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,713 - [Officer] Put your hands on the hood. 208 00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,380 - We're just... (sighs) 209 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,965 - [Officer] That's you too, passenger. 210 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,969 - Officer, uh... 211 00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,761 - I'm not askin'! 212 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,847 Step out of the vehicle! 213 00:09:58,849 --> 00:09:59,683 Let's go! 214 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,434 Get outta the vehicle! (guns cocking) 215 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:03,893 - No! (gun fires) 216 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:08,607 (high-pitched tone rings) (bobblehead rattles) 217 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,361 (brooding music) 218 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:05,457 (brooding music continues) 219 00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,802 (brooding music continues) 220 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,395 (door creaks) 221 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:13,273 - [Judge] I'm saddened to see such potential as yourself 222 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,109 drift into a darker place. 223 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,611 You've clearly forgotten what is right, young man, 224 00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:21,533 and I hope this may set you in that path. 225 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:26,035 Your actions were a disgrace. 226 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:26,913 That is true. 227 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:28,747 (baton clanging) 228 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,623 - [Guard] You have a visitor. 229 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,460 - [Judge] However, with your clean record 230 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:37,464 and no prior history, I am giving you a choice. 231 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:42,471 To go to prison, or to serve in the Vietnam War. 232 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,097 These proceedings can continue, 233 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,642 when you've made that decision. 234 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:52,481 (eerie music) 235 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,447 (baton clanging) 236 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,868 - [Guard] You have a visitor. 237 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:12,332 - [Jonathan] My name is Jonathan Teller, 238 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,710 and I am a haunted man. 239 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:19,800 I guess this is a good place to start as any. 240 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,094 If I go back any further, you'd despise me. 241 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,848 But don't give up on me just yet. 242 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,433 (buzzer buzzes) 243 00:13:30,435 --> 00:13:33,021 (phone clacks) 244 00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,697 (buzzer buzzes) 245 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,536 (buzzer buzzes) 246 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:52,123 (phone clacks) 247 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,001 (Jonathan breathes deeply) 248 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,797 - Hi, Jonathan. 249 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,971 Look at me. 250 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,849 (Jonathan breathes deeply) 251 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:14,435 Jonathan, look at me. 252 00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:15,856 Jonathan, look at me, please. 253 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:18,815 And after everything that you put me- 254 00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:19,776 - What do you want me to say? 255 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,821 (girlfriend sighs) (somber music) 256 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,199 - Jesus Christ, Jonathan. 257 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,290 Did you really think that I wouldn't find out? 258 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,124 That what? 259 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,542 That I was just gonna come here one day, 260 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,086 and not notice that you weren't here? 261 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,755 And that you went off to fight some stupid, unimaginable, 262 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,382 not to mention unwinnable war, 263 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,595 clear across the other side of the world, right? 264 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:50,974 Is it true? 265 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:56,938 - It was that, 266 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,151 or rot in here for the rest of my life. 267 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,867 What do you want me to do? 268 00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:15,165 Hey. 269 00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,337 I'm here. 270 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,423 I always will be. 271 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,092 - Always thinking of yourself. 272 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,596 - [Guard] Hands off the glass! 273 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,396 - I just want you to know, you know... 274 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:46,152 (somber music continues) 275 00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:46,947 Sorry. 276 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,787 (phone thudding rapidly) 277 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,962 (somber music continues) 278 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,300 - [Jonathan] It's hard to describe how I felt in those days. 279 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,388 It was as if I'd walked through a minefield blindfolded. 280 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,889 Somehow ending up a hole, 281 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:16,643 in the middle of a concrete jungle. 282 00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:19,477 Completely unaware that I was crawling 283 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,981 further away from myself. 284 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,774 - Yeah, we got a lot of vets here, of course, you know. 285 00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,193 Uh, you're one of our first Vietnam. 286 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,404 Now, you gotta be a little careful in the neighborhood. 287 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:31,906 It's not bad, but it's not good. 288 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,784 But I'm sure you know how to look after yourself. 289 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,786 You know, just keep your eyes open. 290 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,707 But I think you're gonna like it here. 291 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:42,625 (door creaks) 292 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,461 Well... 293 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,213 This is you. 294 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:51,469 (distant siren wailing) (distant baby crying) 295 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,222 - [Jonathan] What are my odds? 296 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,225 - Excuse me? 297 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,520 - Of getting murdered in here. 298 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:02,856 - [Neighbor] You hear me, motherfucker? 299 00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,148 Suck my... 300 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,400 (muffled thumping and smashing) 301 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,196 (landlady laughs) 302 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,115 (landlady laughs) 303 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:17,410 - Oh, right. Well... (sighs) 304 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:21,166 The walls are thin, so try and keep it down. 305 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,834 (keys clinking) 306 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,670 - Thank you. 307 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,589 - Good day. 308 00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,840 (distant siren wailing) 309 00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,175 (Jonathan sighs) 310 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:34,763 (somber music) 311 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:41,227 (door thuds) 312 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:52,280 (bag thumps) 313 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,949 (body thumps on sofa) (dirt crashes) 314 00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:59,285 - [Jonathan] I had lost my way. 315 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:03,374 But soon, I would find it in the most unusual of places. 316 00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,002 I just didn't know it yet. 317 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,173 (warm soft rock music) 318 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:16,677 ♪ In the quiet of morning ♪ 319 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:21,682 ♪ When the world is still asleep ♪ 320 00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:26,270 ♪ No, no, no, no, no, no ♪ 321 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:30,608 ♪ I'm sitting here all alone ♪ 322 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:35,615 ♪ With the thoughts you keep ♪ 323 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:43,788 ♪ Think about the road I traveled ♪ 324 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:47,794 ♪ All the miles that I've gave ♪ 325 00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:03,143 (crickets chirping) (eerie music) 326 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,687 (register buttons clicking) 327 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:11,607 (register bell dings) 328 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,153 (handle clicking) 329 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:20,160 (muffled gentle muzak) (eerie music continues) 330 00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:37,717 (PA system chimes) 331 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,136 - [Announcer] Attention, all shoppers. 332 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:43,391 (muffled announcement) 333 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,479 - What do you think you're doing? 334 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,106 Huh? 335 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:54,817 Canned goods and bread and flour 336 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,280 don't get stocked next to cereal! 337 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:04,744 I can't have this liability. (dark rumbling tones) 338 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,621 Don't make me ask you twice. 339 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:11,500 (muffled chattering) (dark music continues) 340 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:12,795 Do you understand? 341 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:16,216 - Yes, sir. 342 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,179 (cans rattling) 343 00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:30,772 (cans clattering) 344 00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:40,571 (crickets chirping) (eerie music) 345 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,323 - [Jonathan] Despite the facade of normalcy 346 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:45,910 that I tried to maintain, I had the strangest feeling 347 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:48,246 that something was closing in on me. 348 00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,082 Something 349 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:51,668 that came home with me. 350 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:58,841 (eerie music continues) 351 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,431 (cans clacking) 352 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,770 (can thuds) 353 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:17,024 (cans clacking) (eerie music continues) 354 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,529 (can rolling) 355 00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,282 (can thuds) 356 00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:27,620 (eerie music continues) 357 00:21:46,055 --> 00:21:49,181 (eerie music intensifies) 358 00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:52,643 (intense dramatic music) (distorted radio chatter) 359 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,563 - I'm okay! 360 00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,063 All right, we've been hit! 361 00:21:56,065 --> 00:21:57,898 (guns firing rapidly) (distorted radio chatter) 362 00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,983 Oh, god! 363 00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:01,861 Charlie 3125, we are under fire! 364 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:04,530 We are going down! - I'm losing my controls! 365 00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,740 - Come on! 366 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,033 Come on! - We're going down! 367 00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:07,908 We're going down! 368 00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:10,119 (lever thuds) 369 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:14,582 (guns firing rapidly) (bullets clanging rapidly) 370 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:15,418 - No! 371 00:22:17,587 --> 00:22:20,338 (guns firing rapidly) (bullets clanging rapidly) 372 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:25,345 (sparks crackling) (intense music continues) 373 00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:36,898 (alarm buzzing) (dark music) 374 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,525 - [Jonathan] As the days faded into the next, 375 00:22:41,736 --> 00:22:42,737 I felt trapped. 376 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:44,739 Like a prisoner, 377 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:48,076 caged by the bars of their own mind. 378 00:22:49,911 --> 00:22:52,119 - [Guard] You have a visitor. 379 00:22:52,121 --> 00:22:57,085 (alarm buzzing) (dark music continues) 380 00:23:09,555 --> 00:23:13,391 (indistinct distorted chattering from phone) 381 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:15,309 - [Caller 1] Look after yourself. 382 00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:16,811 (indistinct distorted chattering from phone) 383 00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,105 - [Caller 2] I think you're gonna like it here. 384 00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:22,316 (indistinct distorted chattering from phone) 385 00:23:22,318 --> 00:23:24,068 (phone drones) 386 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,862 (door thuds) 387 00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:28,406 - [Jonathan] I feared my wall of sanity 388 00:23:28,408 --> 00:23:30,324 was beginning to fall. 389 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:33,077 And just when I thought the dust settled, 390 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:35,581 and the echoes of screaming gunfire faded, 391 00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:40,209 my true nightmare was only beginning. 392 00:23:40,211 --> 00:23:41,087 - [Speedy] Relax. 393 00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:44,006 - Why are you doing this to me? 394 00:23:45,091 --> 00:23:47,425 (intense eerie music) 395 00:23:47,427 --> 00:23:49,093 - Relax, man. 396 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:49,929 - No! 397 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:53,766 (Speedy groans) 398 00:23:56,352 --> 00:24:00,229 - A year had passed. (lighter flicks) 399 00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:01,732 And although I was free, 400 00:24:03,818 --> 00:24:06,277 the blinders that were permanently latched to my eyes 401 00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:08,696 kept me buried within those walls. 402 00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:13,369 (muffled sexual moaning from neighbors) 403 00:24:20,334 --> 00:24:23,838 (Jonathan exhales deeply) 404 00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:31,471 (intense eerie music) 405 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:42,438 (faint peaceful muzak) 406 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,860 (glass bottles rattling) 407 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,621 (cage clangs) 408 00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:00,624 (refrigerator doom squeaks) 409 00:25:00,626 --> 00:25:03,793 (glass bottle clinks) 410 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:07,547 (glass bottle clinks) 411 00:25:07,549 --> 00:25:10,217 (glass bottle clinks) 412 00:25:10,219 --> 00:25:15,224 (cart rattling) (eerie music) 413 00:25:21,188 --> 00:25:22,312 (PA system chimes) 414 00:25:22,314 --> 00:25:24,606 - [Boss] Clean up on aisle four. 415 00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:26,316 Large spill. 416 00:25:26,318 --> 00:25:27,817 That's aisle four. 417 00:25:27,819 --> 00:25:29,236 Clean up. 418 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:30,695 (PA system crackles and screeches) 419 00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:33,740 Don't make me ask you twice, people, or it's your ass. 420 00:25:33,742 --> 00:25:35,742 Come on now. Chop, chop. 421 00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:38,119 (PA system screeches) 422 00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:41,458 (eerie music continues) 423 00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:48,465 (bucket clacks) 424 00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:54,427 (water splashes) 425 00:25:54,429 --> 00:25:58,433 (Jonathan whistling cheerfully) 426 00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:10,904 (eerie music) 427 00:26:27,129 --> 00:26:30,424 (eerie music continues) 428 00:26:51,862 --> 00:26:56,283 (eerie music intensifies and swells) 429 00:27:00,037 --> 00:27:03,206 (intense eerie music) 430 00:27:09,463 --> 00:27:13,214 (train rattling and rumbling) 431 00:27:13,216 --> 00:27:14,466 - [Jonathan] That's when I found myself 432 00:27:14,468 --> 00:27:16,595 in the last place I ever expected. 433 00:27:18,722 --> 00:27:19,723 But looking back, 434 00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:24,645 the one place I needed to be the most. 435 00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:28,982 - Hi. 436 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:34,363 I'm Jonathan and I'm a Vietnam veteran. 437 00:27:36,031 --> 00:27:37,656 - Hey. 438 00:27:37,658 --> 00:27:39,409 - Welcome Jon. - Welcome, brother. 439 00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:43,163 - Welcome, Jonathan. Welcome to the family, brother. 440 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:45,666 - All right. 441 00:27:48,877 --> 00:27:49,709 (Abbot chuckles) 442 00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:51,838 - Anyone wanna start us off today with a share? 443 00:27:53,715 --> 00:27:54,964 - Not me. - Uh... 444 00:27:54,966 --> 00:27:57,719 I'll go. (somber music) 445 00:27:58,637 --> 00:28:01,304 Hey, guys. Happy to, happy to be here. 446 00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:03,100 You know me. No stranger here. 447 00:28:05,268 --> 00:28:08,228 I just wanted to say it's been a while since my last 448 00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:09,856 quote-unquote outburst. 449 00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:14,653 Pretty proud of myself. I feel like I'm making strides. 450 00:28:16,530 --> 00:28:19,656 Went on a camping trip with some veteran buddies, recently. 451 00:28:19,658 --> 00:28:23,453 It felt like it's what I needed to unwind, to get away. 452 00:28:25,622 --> 00:28:28,915 (ominous music) 453 00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:32,796 And that evening, I came home and the closet was empty, 454 00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:34,963 the car was gone, 455 00:28:34,965 --> 00:28:37,509 and I haven't seen my wife and kid in a year and a half. 456 00:28:40,387 --> 00:28:42,721 - You've come to the right place. 457 00:28:42,723 --> 00:28:44,639 Keep coming back. 458 00:28:44,641 --> 00:28:47,392 (hand slaps) 459 00:28:47,394 --> 00:28:49,185 - Keep coming back! 460 00:28:49,187 --> 00:28:50,564 Keep coming back. 461 00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:53,483 Keep coming back. 462 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:56,443 - Now, Tommy... 463 00:28:56,445 --> 00:28:59,612 34 suicide attempts... 464 00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:03,032 (group leader drowned out by ominous music) 465 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:05,787 (Jonathan gasps) 466 00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:11,793 Tommy. 467 00:29:15,464 --> 00:29:19,507 34 suicide attempts is considered a red alert. 468 00:29:19,509 --> 00:29:20,343 Okay? 469 00:29:23,430 --> 00:29:25,513 - Yeah, 'cause he ain't doing it right. 470 00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:28,016 (members laughing) 471 00:29:28,018 --> 00:29:29,934 - Mr. Abbot. - God damn it, Abbot! 472 00:29:29,936 --> 00:29:30,769 if you don't shut the fuck up, 473 00:29:30,771 --> 00:29:33,229 I'm gonna break my foot off in your god damn ass, boy! 474 00:29:33,231 --> 00:29:36,024 I'm telling you, every god damn week, you come in with- 475 00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:36,858 - Gentlemen. 476 00:29:36,860 --> 00:29:38,401 - Get the fuck outta here. - I expect more from you. 477 00:29:38,403 --> 00:29:39,277 - Mr. Abbot! - Come on, bitch! 478 00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:41,654 Come on, Sanders! Bring it on! 479 00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:44,866 - Mr. Abbot! - You wanna go, motherfucker? 480 00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:47,494 (members laughing) - Gentlemen, enough. 481 00:29:47,496 --> 00:29:48,995 Please. Jim? 482 00:29:48,997 --> 00:29:50,789 Please ignore him. You know he likes to get people- 483 00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:53,792 - What you gonna do, Sanders? 484 00:29:53,794 --> 00:29:56,252 Talking shit, motherfucker! 485 00:29:56,254 --> 00:29:57,462 Come on! 486 00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:58,671 - [Group Leader] Stop it! 487 00:29:58,673 --> 00:30:01,382 Mr. Abbot, you are causing a ruckus here. 488 00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,928 - Who are you calling boy, boy? 489 00:30:04,346 --> 00:30:06,765 Who are you calling boy, boy? 490 00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:09,599 - Gentlemen, I... (hand slapping) 491 00:30:09,601 --> 00:30:11,100 Just sit down! 492 00:30:11,102 --> 00:30:11,976 Sit down. Gentlemen. 493 00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:13,480 - Shut up, bitch! - Jim! 494 00:30:14,606 --> 00:30:15,440 Jim! 495 00:30:16,483 --> 00:30:21,488 (hands slapping) (somber music) 496 00:30:26,910 --> 00:30:29,246 - [Jonathan] It wasn't long before I went back, 497 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:33,456 but the unspeakable horrors we witnessed 498 00:30:33,458 --> 00:30:35,126 offered its own kind of trauma. 499 00:30:37,546 --> 00:30:39,339 I saw it on their faces, every time. 500 00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:46,302 (PA system chimes) 501 00:30:46,304 --> 00:30:50,890 - [Boss] Clean up. Come on now, chop chop. 502 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:54,312 (somber music continues) 503 00:30:57,107 --> 00:30:58,314 - [Jonathan] The war claimed the lives 504 00:30:58,316 --> 00:31:00,443 of more than 58,000 of us. 505 00:31:03,738 --> 00:31:05,323 For the ones that came back, 506 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,286 there were no welcome home parades, 507 00:31:10,620 --> 00:31:12,831 no nurses to kiss upon return. 508 00:31:13,915 --> 00:31:14,998 (glass bottle clinks) 509 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,376 We were not heroes. 510 00:31:18,128 --> 00:31:19,880 And we were discarded for it. 511 00:31:23,091 --> 00:31:24,467 No matter how hard we tried, 512 00:31:25,510 --> 00:31:28,805 we could never escape what we did over there. 513 00:31:29,639 --> 00:31:30,849 That was our curse. 514 00:31:32,309 --> 00:31:34,895 (bell ringing) 515 00:31:39,733 --> 00:31:42,734 (crickets chirping) 516 00:31:42,736 --> 00:31:45,113 (dark music) 517 00:31:47,657 --> 00:31:51,661 (Jonathan whistling cheerfully) 518 00:31:55,457 --> 00:31:58,124 (glass bottles rattling) 519 00:31:58,126 --> 00:32:01,502 (door squeaking) 520 00:32:01,504 --> 00:32:05,340 (glass bottles rattling) (dark music continues) 521 00:32:05,342 --> 00:32:07,383 (door squeaking) 522 00:32:07,385 --> 00:32:09,804 (door slams) 523 00:32:11,139 --> 00:32:16,144 (birds chirping) (dark music continues) 524 00:32:21,107 --> 00:32:23,944 (insects buzzing) 525 00:32:36,498 --> 00:32:39,250 (wings flapping) 526 00:32:45,382 --> 00:32:48,551 (warm ethereal music) 527 00:32:54,766 --> 00:32:57,435 (snake hissing) 528 00:33:07,195 --> 00:33:09,698 (eerie music) 529 00:33:18,707 --> 00:33:21,124 (eerie music intensifies) 530 00:33:21,126 --> 00:33:22,458 (flames roaring and crackling) 531 00:33:22,460 --> 00:33:24,502 (girlfriend screams) 532 00:33:24,504 --> 00:33:27,755 (Jonathan screams) 533 00:33:27,757 --> 00:33:31,050 (faint gentle muzak) 534 00:33:31,052 --> 00:33:33,761 (dark music) 535 00:33:33,763 --> 00:33:36,347 On the morning of that day, I found myself drifting 536 00:33:36,349 --> 00:33:39,308 somewhere between the depths of my purgatory, 537 00:33:39,310 --> 00:33:41,479 and what I imagined hell would look like. 538 00:33:43,815 --> 00:33:47,608 I dreamed of ending it all, for an accident. 539 00:33:47,610 --> 00:33:48,778 A head-on collision. 540 00:33:49,988 --> 00:33:52,030 To make friends with a bullet in a chamber. 541 00:33:52,032 --> 00:33:54,200 God, how I would thank the maker. 542 00:33:55,118 --> 00:33:56,786 It was only a matter of time now. 543 00:34:02,250 --> 00:34:05,503 (dark music continues) 544 00:34:10,925 --> 00:34:13,384 (distant siren wails) 545 00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:15,805 (ball thuds) 546 00:34:29,611 --> 00:34:32,864 (dark music continues) 547 00:34:46,961 --> 00:34:51,925 (ball thumps) (ominous music) 548 00:34:54,552 --> 00:34:58,179 (building rumbling) 549 00:34:58,181 --> 00:35:00,934 (Jonathan pants) 550 00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:04,938 (building rumbling) 551 00:35:06,439 --> 00:35:10,024 (Jonathan pants) (ominous music intensifies) 552 00:35:10,026 --> 00:35:11,901 I ran to the only place I could. 553 00:35:11,903 --> 00:35:14,278 September 7th, 1970. 554 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,072 - That anger and give it- 555 00:35:16,074 --> 00:35:17,907 - [Jonathan] A date I will never forget. 556 00:35:17,909 --> 00:35:19,534 - Let him carry your burden! 557 00:35:19,536 --> 00:35:21,035 - [Jonathan] The night of my last meeting. 558 00:35:21,037 --> 00:35:22,620 - You must be outta your god damn mind. You think I'm... 559 00:35:22,622 --> 00:35:24,205 Fuck you! - Fuck you! 560 00:35:24,207 --> 00:35:25,039 - Fuck you! 561 00:35:25,041 --> 00:35:26,374 You think I'm touching some kinda faggot? 562 00:35:26,376 --> 00:35:27,333 - Oh, all right. Oh. 563 00:35:27,335 --> 00:35:29,460 - They made me kill babies, but I ain't doing that. 564 00:35:29,462 --> 00:35:30,878 They fuckin' made me! They made me! 565 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,005 - Christ sake, if you don't like it, then get the fuck out! 566 00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:34,632 - Go fuck your mother, you philistine! 567 00:35:34,634 --> 00:35:36,717 - La, la, la, la, language! 568 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,888 - All right! All right, all right, let's... 569 00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:42,431 Let's recenter. 570 00:35:42,433 --> 00:35:43,432 Recenter. 571 00:35:43,434 --> 00:35:44,934 Gentlemen. 572 00:35:44,936 --> 00:35:46,811 Gentlemen, calm. 573 00:35:46,813 --> 00:35:47,647 Calm. 574 00:35:48,857 --> 00:35:50,400 Let him take your burden. 575 00:35:51,359 --> 00:35:53,067 Let him take your burden. 576 00:35:53,069 --> 00:35:57,572 Look into your brother's eyes. Let him feel your pain. 577 00:35:57,574 --> 00:36:00,241 He knows your pain. Let it out, gentlemen. 578 00:36:00,243 --> 00:36:03,163 Let him take your burden from you. 579 00:36:06,541 --> 00:36:08,082 Embrace your brothers. 580 00:36:08,084 --> 00:36:10,835 Let go of that pain. 581 00:36:10,837 --> 00:36:12,130 Let go of that pain. 582 00:36:15,091 --> 00:36:17,008 Let him take your burden. 583 00:36:17,010 --> 00:36:18,761 Let him hold it away. 584 00:36:19,929 --> 00:36:21,846 Let, oh! (gasps) 585 00:36:21,848 --> 00:36:22,972 Good. 586 00:36:22,974 --> 00:36:24,223 Good. Gentle! 587 00:36:24,225 --> 00:36:26,934 Gentle now. Gentle now. 588 00:36:26,936 --> 00:36:28,771 Let it out. Let it out. 589 00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:33,024 - Is this what you imagined hell would be like? 590 00:36:33,026 --> 00:36:35,735 - [Group Leader] Okay, let go. 591 00:36:35,737 --> 00:36:38,529 - I've already been there, brother. 592 00:36:38,531 --> 00:36:41,574 (Abbot laughs) 593 00:36:41,576 --> 00:36:44,452 - [Group Leader] And breathe. 594 00:36:44,454 --> 00:36:45,995 (Abbot sniffs) 595 00:36:45,997 --> 00:36:47,330 - You know, you smell like somethin' 596 00:36:47,332 --> 00:36:48,750 rottin' around you, brother. 597 00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:52,501 And when you've been a tunnel rat for as long as I have, 598 00:36:52,503 --> 00:36:56,299 livin' in the dark, you tend to trust your other senses. 599 00:36:57,717 --> 00:36:59,467 - What're you talking about? 600 00:36:59,469 --> 00:37:02,053 - I'm sayin' that you got a passenger 601 00:37:02,055 --> 00:37:03,431 on your shoulders, brother. 602 00:37:04,307 --> 00:37:05,264 Death! 603 00:37:05,266 --> 00:37:06,599 - Fuck off! - You reek of it! 604 00:37:06,601 --> 00:37:09,352 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh! 605 00:37:09,354 --> 00:37:10,895 It's okay. It's okay. 606 00:37:10,897 --> 00:37:12,396 Shh. - Just let it go. 607 00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:14,607 - Shh. - Let him take that- 608 00:37:14,609 --> 00:37:16,110 - What did you do? 609 00:37:17,779 --> 00:37:20,154 Come on, did you touch the devil or did he touch you? 610 00:37:20,156 --> 00:37:21,822 (Abbot laughs) 611 00:37:21,824 --> 00:37:24,450 - How the fuck would you know what I did? 612 00:37:24,452 --> 00:37:28,579 - Oh, brother, you went down the mouth of madness, 613 00:37:28,581 --> 00:37:31,499 and now you're looking for penance, aren't you? 614 00:37:31,501 --> 00:37:33,334 - You're wrong. 615 00:37:33,336 --> 00:37:34,337 - Oh, am I? 616 00:37:37,507 --> 00:37:40,299 Yeah. (eerie music) 617 00:37:40,301 --> 00:37:41,427 Sure I am. 618 00:37:44,597 --> 00:37:47,016 I don't wanna see your face here ever again. 619 00:37:48,309 --> 00:37:49,519 You hear me? 620 00:37:52,772 --> 00:37:54,522 - What're you talking about? 621 00:37:54,524 --> 00:37:58,776 - I'm sayin' that these are my people. 622 00:37:58,778 --> 00:37:59,946 My camp. 623 00:38:00,822 --> 00:38:02,154 Mine. 624 00:38:02,156 --> 00:38:04,448 You go find your own. You understand? 625 00:38:04,450 --> 00:38:06,951 - Man, you're fuckin' crazy. - Yeah. 626 00:38:06,953 --> 00:38:09,289 According to my last psych evaluation, yes. 627 00:38:12,583 --> 00:38:15,626 Did you know that there are several ways to make napalm? 628 00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:19,005 All you need is a little OJ and gasoline. 629 00:38:19,007 --> 00:38:21,340 - Can you just stop? Just fuckin' stop. 630 00:38:21,342 --> 00:38:22,218 Listen to me. 631 00:38:23,386 --> 00:38:24,470 This is my group. 632 00:38:25,305 --> 00:38:26,806 I have nowhere else to go. 633 00:38:29,517 --> 00:38:32,645 - Well, then you better understand somethin', brother. 634 00:38:35,606 --> 00:38:38,983 (eerie music continues) 635 00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:41,487 The ghosts of the people we kill 636 00:38:43,031 --> 00:38:46,993 will haunt us for the rest of our lives. 637 00:38:49,454 --> 00:38:52,790 Believe me. I know. (chuckles) 638 00:38:55,585 --> 00:38:58,127 (Jonathan sobs) 639 00:38:58,129 --> 00:38:59,380 I know. I know. 640 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,924 I know. Yeah. 641 00:39:02,925 --> 00:39:04,091 - [Jonathan] What do I do? 642 00:39:04,093 --> 00:39:06,052 - [Group Leader] Take him as an example of courage. 643 00:39:06,054 --> 00:39:08,512 - Oh, brother, this is all one big bucket of piss 644 00:39:08,514 --> 00:39:10,433 that we're drownin' in. 645 00:39:11,642 --> 00:39:13,934 Do yourself a favor. 646 00:39:13,936 --> 00:39:16,520 (Abbot clicks his tongue) 647 00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:18,230 Make it quick. 648 00:39:18,232 --> 00:39:19,067 That's what you do. 649 00:39:21,402 --> 00:39:22,236 That's it. 650 00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:24,779 No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 651 00:39:24,781 --> 00:39:26,614 Make it quick, baby. Yeah, make it quick. 652 00:39:26,616 --> 00:39:28,991 - No. - No, yeah. 653 00:39:28,993 --> 00:39:30,159 Make it quick, you gotta make it- 654 00:39:30,161 --> 00:39:31,077 - [Jonathan] No! No! 655 00:39:31,079 --> 00:39:31,911 - We ain't never getting right 656 00:39:31,913 --> 00:39:33,037 with the wrongs we done, brother! 657 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:34,997 We ain't never getting right for nothin'! 658 00:39:34,999 --> 00:39:37,124 You hear me? Nothin'! 659 00:39:37,126 --> 00:39:38,209 - Oh, oh, oh! (ominous music) 660 00:39:38,211 --> 00:39:40,961 - I control my life and what I do! 661 00:39:40,963 --> 00:39:41,881 I do! I do! 662 00:39:43,132 --> 00:39:44,008 I do! I do! 663 00:39:45,176 --> 00:39:47,261 'Cause I'm a baby killer! 664 00:39:48,096 --> 00:39:49,220 - No, Mr. Abbot! No! 665 00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:50,596 (gun fires) (group leader screams) 666 00:39:50,598 --> 00:39:52,598 (body thumps) - Oh, my god! 667 00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,266 Fuck! - Somebody call an ambulance! 668 00:39:54,268 --> 00:39:56,102 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 669 00:39:56,104 --> 00:39:57,269 Somebody! 670 00:39:57,271 --> 00:40:00,106 (group leader screams) 671 00:40:00,108 --> 00:40:02,108 - [TV Announcer] The time is 5:30. 672 00:40:02,110 --> 00:40:04,612 - David Brinkley is on vacation. I'm Chad Huntley. 673 00:40:05,738 --> 00:40:06,695 for an hour and a half today, 674 00:40:06,697 --> 00:40:09,990 the normally placid university and capital city of Austin, 675 00:40:09,992 --> 00:40:11,909 Texas was held in the grip of a terror, 676 00:40:11,911 --> 00:40:14,745 which began in killing and ended in killing. 677 00:40:14,747 --> 00:40:17,373 A maddened former Marine, a 24-year-old student 678 00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:19,834 in the architectural school named Charles Whitman 679 00:40:19,836 --> 00:40:22,962 first killed his wife and mother in their home. 680 00:40:22,964 --> 00:40:25,005 Then he fled to the top of the university tower, 681 00:40:25,007 --> 00:40:27,466 a 27-story building, and from there, shot to death 682 00:40:27,468 --> 00:40:31,178 at least 13 other people and wounded at least 31. 683 00:40:31,180 --> 00:40:34,223 The carnage did not end until police ended Whitman's life 684 00:40:34,225 --> 00:40:35,683 with several bullets. 685 00:40:35,685 --> 00:40:39,522 Here is a report from Neil Speltz of KTBC TV Austin. 686 00:40:42,108 --> 00:40:44,233 - [Neil] A marine veteran who was an expert marksman 687 00:40:44,235 --> 00:40:47,236 shot and killed 10 unsuspecting noontime strollers 688 00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:49,613 on the University of Texas campus today. 689 00:40:49,615 --> 00:40:51,532 And then he was cut down, an hour and a half later, 690 00:40:51,534 --> 00:40:53,284 by an Austin policeman. 691 00:40:53,286 --> 00:40:56,330 When the shooting ended, 30 others were seriously injured. 692 00:40:57,707 --> 00:41:00,166 And then the bodies of the alleged sniper's mother and wife 693 00:41:00,168 --> 00:41:02,418 were found in his apartment, both dead. 694 00:41:02,420 --> 00:41:06,046 The tally at this hour is 13 dead, 30 wounded, 695 00:41:06,048 --> 00:41:07,840 and that figure includes the death of the man 696 00:41:07,842 --> 00:41:09,633 police say he did the shooting. 697 00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:12,595 A sniper identified his 24-year-old Charles J. Whitman 698 00:41:12,597 --> 00:41:15,014 started shooting from the observation deck 699 00:41:15,016 --> 00:41:17,560 of the 27-story-tall university tower. 700 00:41:19,187 --> 00:41:21,520 He fell moving targets blocks away. 701 00:41:21,522 --> 00:41:23,230 The terror-filled 90 minutes started 702 00:41:23,232 --> 00:41:25,608 at five minutes before 12 Austin time, 703 00:41:25,610 --> 00:41:30,154 and it was 1:22 when policeman Ramiro Martinez shot Whitney. 704 00:41:30,156 --> 00:41:31,489 Those who were felled with bullets 705 00:41:31,491 --> 00:41:33,699 from the high caliber rifle were pulled to safety, 706 00:41:33,701 --> 00:41:36,744 as soon as possible by officials and passers-by. 707 00:41:36,746 --> 00:41:38,414 Others crouched in terror. 708 00:41:40,459 --> 00:41:42,834 Heavily-armed Austin Police, sheriff's deputies, 709 00:41:42,836 --> 00:41:45,045 highway patrolmen and Texas Rangers, 710 00:41:45,047 --> 00:41:46,546 converged on the campus 711 00:41:46,548 --> 00:41:48,675 and began returning the sniper's fire. 712 00:41:50,093 --> 00:41:51,343 But he was well entrenched, 713 00:41:51,345 --> 00:41:54,930 and he had a fantastic vantage point of the entire area. 714 00:41:54,932 --> 00:41:57,599 - I'm not paying you two ladies to watch TV. 715 00:41:57,601 --> 00:41:59,434 - [Neil] Reporter Charles Ward was on the scene, 716 00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:00,769 as the gun... 717 00:42:00,771 --> 00:42:02,648 - Chop chop. Get to work! 718 00:42:05,651 --> 00:42:08,153 (eerie music) 719 00:42:15,035 --> 00:42:20,040 (refrigerator door squeaking) (birds chirping) 720 00:42:29,132 --> 00:42:34,096 (birds chirping) (eerie music continues) 721 00:42:50,112 --> 00:42:52,946 (Jonathan pants) 722 00:42:52,948 --> 00:42:56,118 (intense eerie music) 723 00:42:58,245 --> 00:43:03,250 (faint gentle muzak) (eerie music continues) 724 00:43:15,220 --> 00:43:16,845 - [Jonathan] Sir! Yes, sir! 725 00:43:16,847 --> 00:43:19,014 - Holy fuckin' heaven! 726 00:43:19,016 --> 00:43:20,932 (glass shatters) (intense eerie music) 727 00:43:20,934 --> 00:43:22,058 - Kill! 728 00:43:22,060 --> 00:43:23,145 Or be killed! 729 00:43:24,187 --> 00:43:25,689 Kill or be killed! 730 00:43:26,940 --> 00:43:28,442 Kill or be killed! 731 00:43:29,526 --> 00:43:31,028 Kill or be killed! 732 00:43:32,237 --> 00:43:33,071 Kill! 733 00:43:38,076 --> 00:43:40,495 (dark music) 734 00:43:42,039 --> 00:43:45,709 - [Jonathan] Someone once said hell is an illusion. 735 00:43:48,712 --> 00:43:49,753 (door slams) 736 00:43:49,755 --> 00:43:53,925 But the first real casualty of war is the soul. 737 00:43:56,261 --> 00:43:57,218 (door creaks) 738 00:43:57,220 --> 00:44:01,183 I woke up, months later, barely holding on. 739 00:44:02,351 --> 00:44:05,518 My grip on reality faltering in a sterile fortress 740 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,898 of white walls and unending corridors. 741 00:44:09,900 --> 00:44:12,400 (buzzer buzzes) 742 00:44:12,402 --> 00:44:15,195 I was surrounded by others whose minds 743 00:44:15,197 --> 00:44:16,740 had also betrayed them. 744 00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:21,576 And I couldn't help but wonder if, if I would ever find 745 00:44:21,578 --> 00:44:23,664 a way to piece myself back together again, 746 00:44:26,291 --> 00:44:30,253 or if I was destined to be a lost toy soldier. 747 00:44:31,338 --> 00:44:32,422 Never remembered. 748 00:44:33,632 --> 00:44:36,009 As if I never existed in the first place. 749 00:44:39,096 --> 00:44:39,930 But... 750 00:44:41,306 --> 00:44:43,016 She wouldn't let that happen. 751 00:44:47,270 --> 00:44:52,275 (water splashes) (dark music continues) 752 00:45:00,492 --> 00:45:03,161 (child giggles) 753 00:45:04,830 --> 00:45:07,163 (suspenseful music) 754 00:45:07,165 --> 00:45:09,835 (wheel squeaks) 755 00:45:28,979 --> 00:45:32,816 (suspenseful music continues) 756 00:45:53,670 --> 00:45:57,507 (suspenseful music continues) 757 00:46:09,352 --> 00:46:12,397 (grenade pin clinks) 758 00:46:17,819 --> 00:46:19,444 (Jonathan screams) 759 00:46:19,446 --> 00:46:24,451 (explosion roars) (intense eerie music) 760 00:46:28,246 --> 00:46:30,079 (Jonathan screams) 761 00:46:30,081 --> 00:46:32,584 - I'm not supposed to be here! 762 00:46:33,460 --> 00:46:35,378 Get off! Get off of me! 763 00:46:36,421 --> 00:46:39,341 (Jonathan screams) 764 00:46:42,344 --> 00:46:46,846 (intense eerie music continues) 765 00:46:46,848 --> 00:46:49,518 (door slams) No! 766 00:46:52,020 --> 00:46:57,025 (cart rattling) (dark music) 767 00:47:03,698 --> 00:47:07,536 (patient mumbling to himself) 768 00:47:09,412 --> 00:47:12,415 (rodents squeaking) 769 00:47:19,965 --> 00:47:24,928 (footsteps clacking) (dark music continues) 770 00:47:25,929 --> 00:47:28,012 (pen scribbles) 771 00:47:28,014 --> 00:47:31,101 (footsteps clacking) 772 00:47:35,897 --> 00:47:38,567 (pen scribbles) 773 00:47:39,568 --> 00:47:42,487 (door clicks open) 774 00:47:44,656 --> 00:47:45,488 (door slams) 775 00:47:45,490 --> 00:47:46,823 (lock clacks) 776 00:47:46,825 --> 00:47:49,951 (buzzer buzzes) 777 00:47:49,953 --> 00:47:52,372 (door slams) 778 00:47:54,165 --> 00:47:58,543 (muffled mumbling) (dark music continues) 779 00:47:58,545 --> 00:48:01,337 - [Patient 1] We gonna have ourselves a pool party tonight! 780 00:48:01,339 --> 00:48:03,172 - [Patient 2] Watch your six. 781 00:48:03,174 --> 00:48:05,341 - [Patient 3] Watch out. 782 00:48:05,343 --> 00:48:10,348 (intense eerie music) (fire crackling) 783 00:48:14,019 --> 00:48:17,105 (toy soldier clacks) 784 00:48:20,358 --> 00:48:24,779 (distant guard whistling cheerfully) 785 00:48:29,951 --> 00:48:30,867 - God, Abbot. 786 00:48:30,869 --> 00:48:32,744 Don't you sleep? 787 00:48:32,746 --> 00:48:37,375 - God doesn't have anything to do with this shit hole. 788 00:48:39,711 --> 00:48:42,211 But you can call me Jesus Christ. 789 00:48:42,213 --> 00:48:44,714 (Abbot laughs) 790 00:48:44,716 --> 00:48:47,508 And believe me, I would staple my eyes shut 791 00:48:47,510 --> 00:48:50,011 to sleep for one god damn minute, 792 00:48:50,013 --> 00:48:51,264 but then the demons come. 793 00:48:57,437 --> 00:48:59,940 (eerie music) 794 00:49:04,903 --> 00:49:06,235 Leave him. 795 00:49:06,237 --> 00:49:08,114 Let him lay where he fell. 796 00:49:10,075 --> 00:49:11,199 Give him the common decency to die 797 00:49:11,201 --> 00:49:13,620 on the patch of fucking concrete that chose him. 798 00:49:14,955 --> 00:49:16,373 That's the least you could do. 799 00:49:18,833 --> 00:49:21,584 Death gives you perspective, doesn't it? 800 00:49:21,586 --> 00:49:23,088 - We're not dying, man. 801 00:49:24,422 --> 00:49:27,590 (Abbot giggles) 802 00:49:27,592 --> 00:49:30,176 - Oh, that's where you're wrong, brother. 803 00:49:30,178 --> 00:49:31,179 We're already dead. 804 00:49:32,597 --> 00:49:36,351 You know, it's funny how people find it odd. 805 00:49:37,852 --> 00:49:40,063 They're always so confused about life 806 00:49:40,939 --> 00:49:43,608 and how the hell things didn't go as planned. 807 00:49:45,193 --> 00:49:47,195 And that's 'cause they're all in a coma. 808 00:49:48,905 --> 00:49:49,862 (toy soldier clacks) 809 00:49:49,864 --> 00:49:50,699 Gone. 810 00:49:51,574 --> 00:49:53,449 (Jonathan whimpers) 811 00:49:53,451 --> 00:49:55,159 And it's not supposed to make sense. 812 00:49:55,161 --> 00:49:57,872 And if you learn that, I mean truly embrace that, 813 00:49:58,748 --> 00:50:00,792 you'll live a better life. 814 00:50:04,629 --> 00:50:06,172 - It happened again. 815 00:50:08,133 --> 00:50:09,924 - Where were you this time? 816 00:50:09,926 --> 00:50:12,429 (eerie music) 817 00:50:17,225 --> 00:50:18,933 (plane engines roaring) 818 00:50:18,935 --> 00:50:22,105 (guns firing rapidly) 819 00:50:27,610 --> 00:50:30,363 (flames roaring) 820 00:50:31,364 --> 00:50:33,072 (fist thuds) (toy soldiers clattering) 821 00:50:33,074 --> 00:50:35,450 Where were you this time? 822 00:50:35,452 --> 00:50:36,369 - Fuck you. 823 00:50:38,329 --> 00:50:39,954 - That dark is all we have left. 824 00:50:39,956 --> 00:50:41,831 You better get used to that, brother. 825 00:50:41,833 --> 00:50:43,916 - No. I'll never get used to it! 826 00:50:43,918 --> 00:50:46,836 - Oh, no. One day you will learn to embrace it. 827 00:50:46,838 --> 00:50:47,837 Teller, her we have to. 828 00:50:47,839 --> 00:50:50,717 We don't have any other fucking chance, man. We're gone! 829 00:50:53,970 --> 00:50:57,390 All the wisest do not let themselves be tricked 830 00:50:59,225 --> 00:51:00,310 a second time. 831 00:51:04,647 --> 00:51:07,984 (eerie music continues) 832 00:51:12,489 --> 00:51:14,822 - [Jonathan] What the fuck does that mean? 833 00:51:14,824 --> 00:51:15,658 Hey. 834 00:51:19,245 --> 00:51:20,495 Wait. 835 00:51:20,497 --> 00:51:21,831 Are we the rats? 836 00:51:22,707 --> 00:51:26,793 (eerie music continues) 837 00:51:26,795 --> 00:51:28,129 Are we the rats? 838 00:51:30,673 --> 00:51:32,008 Are we the rats? 839 00:51:34,427 --> 00:51:35,762 Are we the rats? 840 00:51:36,679 --> 00:51:38,014 Are we the rats? 841 00:51:44,270 --> 00:51:47,607 (eerie music continues) 842 00:51:49,609 --> 00:51:50,858 The rats! 843 00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:53,279 (door slams) 844 00:51:55,448 --> 00:51:57,951 (engine revs) 845 00:52:00,912 --> 00:52:01,953 (gentle music) 846 00:52:01,955 --> 00:52:03,412 - They'd let me go a year earlier 847 00:52:03,414 --> 00:52:05,083 at the behest of Richard Nixon. 848 00:52:06,876 --> 00:52:09,546 I'd crawled four stories below Hanoi, Vietnam. 849 00:52:10,421 --> 00:52:12,298 I mapped out dozens of tunnels, 850 00:52:14,050 --> 00:52:15,969 detonated 48 bombs. 851 00:52:17,345 --> 00:52:19,013 How many lives have I destroyed? 852 00:52:20,431 --> 00:52:21,558 How many I ended? 853 00:52:23,476 --> 00:52:24,310 I'll never know. 854 00:52:26,479 --> 00:52:27,438 What I do know 855 00:52:29,649 --> 00:52:32,819 is that I met you on the final day of 1972. 856 00:52:34,070 --> 00:52:36,030 The same day I resolved to kill myself. 857 00:52:39,909 --> 00:52:44,873 (prostitute slurping) (driver moaning) 858 00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:49,502 (footsteps clacking) 859 00:52:52,422 --> 00:52:54,130 - Hey, sweetie. - Hey, baby. 860 00:52:54,132 --> 00:52:56,801 - What can I get you today? - What you got? 861 00:53:04,434 --> 00:53:08,269 - In a barren motel room with a fifth of Tennessee rye, 862 00:53:08,271 --> 00:53:11,608 and a pang of shame permeating the recesses of my soul, 863 00:53:12,609 --> 00:53:13,860 I vowed that this was it. 864 00:53:15,111 --> 00:53:17,780 That I would give myself the discharge I deserved. 865 00:53:18,781 --> 00:53:21,534 (brush scraping) 866 00:53:23,036 --> 00:53:25,079 For hours, I obsessed about doing it. 867 00:53:26,289 --> 00:53:29,624 (brush scraping) 868 00:53:29,626 --> 00:53:31,836 I remember the seconds felt like lifetimes, 869 00:53:32,795 --> 00:53:33,838 but I couldn't do it. 870 00:53:35,423 --> 00:53:37,548 (Jonathan coughs) (brush scraping) 871 00:53:37,550 --> 00:53:39,717 I couldn't experience what my victims had, 872 00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:40,887 those years before. 873 00:53:42,597 --> 00:53:43,890 I could live with nothing. 874 00:53:45,642 --> 00:53:46,641 (Jonathan coughs) (brush scraping) 875 00:53:46,643 --> 00:53:48,684 - Piece of shit. (bucket clatters) 876 00:53:48,686 --> 00:53:50,436 (man laughs) 877 00:53:50,438 --> 00:53:55,443 (foot thuds) (Jonathan groans) 878 00:53:56,778 --> 00:53:58,611 Only the tortured echoes from the past 879 00:53:58,613 --> 00:54:00,240 that were forever by my side. 880 00:54:01,532 --> 00:54:05,536 (child speaks foreign language) 881 00:54:09,457 --> 00:54:13,461 (child speaks foreign language) 882 00:54:16,130 --> 00:54:19,090 (intense eerie music) 883 00:54:19,092 --> 00:54:21,844 (blood dripping) 884 00:54:30,436 --> 00:54:35,441 (blood dripping) (eerie music) 885 00:54:40,822 --> 00:54:43,741 (heartbeat thumps) 886 00:54:51,874 --> 00:54:54,627 (Jonathan sighs) 887 00:55:08,141 --> 00:55:10,560 (dark music) 888 00:55:12,395 --> 00:55:15,148 (vomit splashes) 889 00:55:19,986 --> 00:55:23,740 (prostitute moans and pants) 890 00:55:31,581 --> 00:55:35,335 (prostitute moans and pants) 891 00:55:48,765 --> 00:55:53,770 (prostitute moans and pants) (dark music continues) 892 00:56:01,861 --> 00:56:04,862 (protestors yelling) 893 00:56:04,864 --> 00:56:07,283 (horn honks) 894 00:56:11,746 --> 00:56:13,664 I walked for what felt like days. 895 00:56:14,957 --> 00:56:18,250 I roamed the common, scaled the hell, and meandered 896 00:56:18,252 --> 00:56:20,922 into a labyrinth of the world I no longer remember. 897 00:56:23,007 --> 00:56:25,593 While the pedestrians howled at the world around me, 898 00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,636 I trudged further into the darkness 899 00:56:28,638 --> 00:56:30,930 I had loathed so much. 900 00:56:30,932 --> 00:56:33,265 I thought, or rather, hoped, 901 00:56:33,267 --> 00:56:35,351 that it might wash away the patina of guilt 902 00:56:35,353 --> 00:56:37,230 that had coagulated around my heart. 903 00:56:40,274 --> 00:56:41,359 I saw my way out. 904 00:56:44,237 --> 00:56:47,446 - Hearing about the massive invasion of South Vietnam 905 00:56:47,448 --> 00:56:49,617 by the communist armies of North Vietnam. 906 00:56:52,203 --> 00:56:53,955 - [Jonathan] I killed that little girl. 907 00:56:55,748 --> 00:56:57,041 It wasn't the first time, 908 00:56:59,085 --> 00:57:00,086 nor the last. 909 00:57:01,421 --> 00:57:03,087 - And the efforts we are- 910 00:57:03,089 --> 00:57:05,381 - I didn't even know who I was anymore. 911 00:57:05,383 --> 00:57:06,259 What I did know 912 00:57:09,429 --> 00:57:11,387 was that I was a murderer. 913 00:57:11,389 --> 00:57:12,763 - And what we have done since then, 914 00:57:12,765 --> 00:57:15,059 to end American involvement in the war... 915 00:57:17,186 --> 00:57:22,191 (bus engine hums) (dark music) 916 00:57:37,165 --> 00:57:39,874 In the eyes of my superiors, 917 00:57:39,876 --> 00:57:41,919 I had served my country honorably 918 00:57:42,837 --> 00:57:46,007 and I was thusly discharged with such distinction. 919 00:57:47,216 --> 00:57:48,426 "Distinction". 920 00:57:50,219 --> 00:57:51,387 If they only knew. 921 00:58:03,774 --> 00:58:07,028 (dark music continues) 922 00:58:07,862 --> 00:58:10,698 (bus engine revs) 923 00:58:21,043 --> 00:58:24,296 (dark music continues) 924 00:58:27,049 --> 00:58:30,219 (light bulb crackles) 925 00:58:32,888 --> 00:58:36,058 (light bulb crackles) 926 00:58:42,022 --> 00:58:44,900 (grenade clatters) 927 00:58:46,026 --> 00:58:48,695 (ominous music) 928 00:58:53,617 --> 00:58:56,370 (Jonathan pants) 929 00:59:01,959 --> 00:59:04,711 (Jonathan pants) 930 00:59:10,467 --> 00:59:15,430 (Jonathan pants) (ominous music intensifies) 931 00:59:24,398 --> 00:59:26,733 (gun cocks) 932 00:59:29,111 --> 00:59:34,116 (gun fires) (intense eerie music) 933 00:59:35,576 --> 00:59:38,285 (gun fires) 934 00:59:38,287 --> 00:59:41,454 (gun fires) 935 00:59:41,456 --> 00:59:43,750 (gun fires) 936 00:59:47,796 --> 00:59:50,132 (gun fires) 937 00:59:55,762 --> 00:59:58,098 (gun fires) 938 01:00:00,058 --> 01:00:02,394 (gun fires) 939 01:00:07,774 --> 01:00:10,569 (blood splatters) 940 01:00:17,868 --> 01:00:20,370 (eerie music) 941 01:00:25,167 --> 01:00:28,337 (dark rumbling tones) 942 01:00:34,384 --> 01:00:37,054 (ominous music) 943 01:01:14,299 --> 01:01:18,303 (child speaks foreign language) 944 01:01:27,771 --> 01:01:30,774 (suspenseful music) 945 01:01:37,322 --> 01:01:40,325 (paper bag rustles) 946 01:01:48,083 --> 01:01:50,083 (paper bag rustles) 947 01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:52,504 (gun clicks) 948 01:01:54,089 --> 01:01:56,508 (gun clicks) 949 01:01:57,718 --> 01:02:00,053 (gun cocks) 950 01:02:01,304 --> 01:02:06,309 (Jonathan inhales deeply) (tense music) 951 01:02:07,269 --> 01:02:10,021 (Jonathan pants) 952 01:02:14,609 --> 01:02:16,945 (gun fires) 953 01:02:26,621 --> 01:02:27,539 And then... 954 01:02:28,957 --> 01:02:32,959 - [Driver] Hawthorn Street. This is Hawthorn Street. 955 01:02:32,961 --> 01:02:34,794 - [Jonathan] I saw you. 956 01:02:34,796 --> 01:02:36,379 (gentle music) 957 01:02:36,381 --> 01:02:38,633 To this day, I don't know what made me stop, 958 01:02:40,135 --> 01:02:41,094 but there you were. 959 01:02:48,518 --> 01:02:53,438 - [Driver] Next stop will be the last stop on this bus. 960 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:56,276 (bus engine revs) 961 01:02:58,612 --> 01:03:02,447 (gentle music continues) 962 01:03:02,449 --> 01:03:04,951 - [Jonathan] I'd never seen anything so beautiful. 963 01:03:14,085 --> 01:03:16,087 You were wearing a teal ball gown 964 01:03:17,631 --> 01:03:21,885 that appeared to me to be both regal and ridiculous. 965 01:03:26,473 --> 01:03:29,518 Your brown hair was matted to the right side of your face. 966 01:03:31,311 --> 01:03:33,980 And a galaxy of freckles dusted your shoulders. 967 01:03:37,150 --> 01:03:38,151 I couldn't speak. 968 01:03:39,444 --> 01:03:40,610 When I joined you at the seat, 969 01:03:40,612 --> 01:03:42,781 you looked at me with those big green eyes, 970 01:03:43,698 --> 01:03:45,700 and I could tell that you'd been crying. 971 01:03:49,162 --> 01:03:50,745 And I said... 972 01:03:50,747 --> 01:03:51,871 I, I... 973 01:03:51,873 --> 01:03:53,081 (tires screeching) 974 01:03:53,083 --> 01:03:55,458 (body thumps) (Jonathan groans) 975 01:03:55,460 --> 01:03:57,210 (page flicks) 976 01:03:57,212 --> 01:03:59,045 - [Driver] Ladies and gentlemen, this is the last stop. 977 01:03:59,047 --> 01:04:00,382 Please exit the bus. 978 01:04:04,386 --> 01:04:06,553 (Jonathan groans) 979 01:04:06,555 --> 01:04:09,307 (Jonathan sighs) 980 01:04:11,351 --> 01:04:14,062 (Jonathan pants) 981 01:04:17,274 --> 01:04:19,025 - Yeah. Yeah, I'm, I'm fine. 982 01:04:23,071 --> 01:04:24,737 (Jonathan sighs) 983 01:04:24,739 --> 01:04:25,574 Where you headed? 984 01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:33,039 (pencil scribbles) 985 01:04:36,793 --> 01:04:37,836 Don't you speak? 986 01:04:41,506 --> 01:04:42,505 (page flicks) 987 01:04:42,507 --> 01:04:45,427 (pencil scribbles) 988 01:04:54,895 --> 01:04:55,729 I, uh... 989 01:04:57,314 --> 01:05:01,484 (chuckles) I don't, I don't know. 990 01:05:04,446 --> 01:05:06,948 I don't think I've ever known. 991 01:05:09,743 --> 01:05:12,201 (page flicks) 992 01:05:12,203 --> 01:05:15,123 (pencil scribbles) 993 01:05:24,299 --> 01:05:26,257 (chuckles) Okay. 994 01:05:26,259 --> 01:05:29,095 Yeah, yeah. I'll, I'll play along. 995 01:05:31,723 --> 01:05:32,641 Who's there? 996 01:05:37,145 --> 01:05:40,065 (pencil scribbles) 997 01:05:51,242 --> 01:05:52,327 Mustache who? 998 01:05:57,958 --> 01:06:00,877 (pencil scribbles) 999 01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,481 (Jonathan chuckles) 1000 01:06:25,986 --> 01:06:28,987 Oh, it's, uh... (chuckles) 1001 01:06:28,989 --> 01:06:31,950 It's been a long time since I, uh... 1002 01:06:39,749 --> 01:06:40,583 Thank you. 1003 01:06:45,130 --> 01:06:48,049 (pencil scribbles) 1004 01:06:56,725 --> 01:06:57,559 Yeah. 1005 01:06:59,352 --> 01:07:04,105 (bell dings) (melancholy orchestral music) 1006 01:07:04,107 --> 01:07:06,607 - Before I knew it, you snatched my hand, 1007 01:07:06,609 --> 01:07:10,321 and led me on a dash through downtown and into a diner. 1008 01:07:16,661 --> 01:07:18,619 We sat at the booth at the five and dime 1009 01:07:18,621 --> 01:07:21,041 and talked like old friends. 1010 01:07:24,252 --> 01:07:26,171 We laughed as easily as we lamented. 1011 01:07:28,298 --> 01:07:31,301 And you confessed over coffee that you were engaged to a man 1012 01:07:32,594 --> 01:07:33,511 you didn't love. 1013 01:07:36,973 --> 01:07:39,642 A banker from some line of nobility. 1014 01:07:41,519 --> 01:07:45,146 Either way, his parents were throwing a soiree 1015 01:07:45,148 --> 01:07:46,898 to ring in the new year. 1016 01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:48,068 Hence the dress. 1017 01:07:50,779 --> 01:07:52,695 For my part, I shared more of myself 1018 01:07:52,697 --> 01:07:55,366 than I could have ever imagined possible at that time. 1019 01:07:58,995 --> 01:08:01,829 Didn't mention Vietnam, but I got a sense that you could see 1020 01:08:01,831 --> 01:08:03,917 there was a war waging inside me. 1021 01:08:06,753 --> 01:08:07,587 Still... 1022 01:08:09,798 --> 01:08:11,341 Your eyes offered no pity. 1023 01:08:15,887 --> 01:08:17,097 And I loved you for it. 1024 01:08:20,892 --> 01:08:24,646 (melancholy music continues) 1025 01:08:27,023 --> 01:08:27,980 - [TV Announcer] Last many, many years 1026 01:08:27,982 --> 01:08:29,774 that people gathered here on New Years. 1027 01:08:29,776 --> 01:08:33,196 The only year that ever had that small a crowd was 1917. 1028 01:08:34,781 --> 01:08:36,741 - Hell of a way to chime it in, huh? 1029 01:08:40,662 --> 01:08:42,370 - You remind me of someone. 1030 01:08:42,372 --> 01:08:45,331 - [TV Announcer] And in a few moments, we'll be turning over 1031 01:08:45,333 --> 01:08:46,376 to look at... 1032 01:08:55,677 --> 01:08:57,176 - She speaks? 1033 01:08:57,178 --> 01:08:59,679 - [TV Announcer] That will signify New Years 1034 01:08:59,681 --> 01:09:01,097 to an awful lot of people 1035 01:09:01,099 --> 01:09:06,104 all over the United States and Canada. 1036 01:09:06,896 --> 01:09:08,855 - [Waitress] We're just getting ready to close up. 1037 01:09:08,857 --> 01:09:11,941 Can I get you guys anything? Dessert? 1038 01:09:11,943 --> 01:09:12,944 - Apple pie. - Pie. 1039 01:09:13,862 --> 01:09:16,988 - [Jonathan] A moment ago, I was planning to end my life. 1040 01:09:16,990 --> 01:09:19,242 In an instant, everything had changed. 1041 01:09:21,161 --> 01:09:23,079 Now I suddenly wanted pie? 1042 01:09:23,955 --> 01:09:26,291 What was happening to me? Who were you? 1043 01:09:27,584 --> 01:09:30,751 - [TV Announcer] Why are they there? Very good question! 1044 01:09:30,753 --> 01:09:32,797 - Could you excuse me for just a moment? 1045 01:09:34,841 --> 01:09:37,967 - [TV Announcer] Very unusual and a very strange way 1046 01:09:37,969 --> 01:09:39,844 to celebrate New Years. 1047 01:09:39,846 --> 01:09:43,389 Moments from now, this giant crowd here in Times Square- 1048 01:09:43,391 --> 01:09:44,225 - Hey! 1049 01:09:47,478 --> 01:09:48,313 Judy. 1050 01:09:50,899 --> 01:09:54,152 (warm music continues) 1051 01:09:56,404 --> 01:09:57,322 My name is Judy. 1052 01:10:01,409 --> 01:10:02,243 - Judy. 1053 01:10:15,215 --> 01:10:20,220 (muffled chatter from TV) (warm music continues) 1054 01:10:33,358 --> 01:10:36,110 (water splashes) 1055 01:10:38,613 --> 01:10:40,738 I remember consulting myself in the mirror, 1056 01:10:40,740 --> 01:10:42,990 wondering if I should kiss you. 1057 01:10:42,992 --> 01:10:44,953 It was New Years in minutes, after all. 1058 01:10:46,621 --> 01:10:47,956 No, I couldn't do that. 1059 01:10:48,998 --> 01:10:49,832 Could I? 1060 01:10:53,419 --> 01:10:54,502 If I should tell you what I'd done 1061 01:10:54,504 --> 01:10:57,006 from the tunnels of that village a year before... 1062 01:10:58,424 --> 01:11:00,424 If I should return to the .44 caliber 1063 01:11:00,426 --> 01:11:02,220 that was tucked in my waistband... 1064 01:11:06,015 --> 01:11:07,558 I decided, ultimately, 1065 01:11:10,019 --> 01:11:12,103 that I was unworthy of the resuscitation 1066 01:11:12,105 --> 01:11:14,482 this stranger in a ball gown had given me, 1067 01:11:16,359 --> 01:11:18,943 and to turn my back on such sweet serendipity 1068 01:11:18,945 --> 01:11:20,446 would be the real disgrace. 1069 01:11:24,284 --> 01:11:27,076 On my way back to the booth, my heart thumped in my chest 1070 01:11:27,078 --> 01:11:28,788 like an angry judge's gavel. 1071 01:11:30,039 --> 01:11:30,915 And a future, 1072 01:11:32,041 --> 01:11:32,959 our future, 1073 01:11:34,252 --> 01:11:35,420 flicked in my mind. 1074 01:11:44,887 --> 01:11:45,720 When I reached the booth, 1075 01:11:45,722 --> 01:11:47,432 I had no idea what I was going to find. 1076 01:11:50,351 --> 01:11:51,185 You were gone. 1077 01:11:56,024 --> 01:11:58,151 As strangely as our union had begun, 1078 01:11:59,777 --> 01:12:01,070 so too had it ended. 1079 01:12:03,239 --> 01:12:05,197 (plates clacking) 1080 01:12:05,199 --> 01:12:06,326 I was devastated. 1081 01:12:07,577 --> 01:12:08,411 But somehow, 1082 01:12:12,373 --> 01:12:13,207 I knew. 1083 01:12:14,375 --> 01:12:17,545 I went back to that diner every day, for a year. 1084 01:12:19,130 --> 01:12:24,052 I think it's a parking lot now, but I never saw you again. 1085 01:12:27,930 --> 01:12:29,682 - Are you good, doll? 1086 01:12:34,228 --> 01:12:37,271 Can I get you anything else? 1087 01:12:37,273 --> 01:12:38,397 - [TV Announcer] From Time Square, 1088 01:12:38,399 --> 01:12:41,525 a roar like you've never heard before. 1089 01:12:41,527 --> 01:12:43,778 Here we go with the countdown. 1090 01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:44,695 Five. 1091 01:12:44,697 --> 01:12:45,529 Four. 1092 01:12:45,531 --> 01:12:46,364 Three. 1093 01:12:46,366 --> 01:12:48,032 Two. 1094 01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:51,704 One and happy, happy, happy, happy, happy... 1095 01:12:55,333 --> 01:12:59,919 - [Jonathan] I am an old man now, and all I know of you 1096 01:12:59,921 --> 01:13:02,382 is your name and that you lived in this city once 1097 01:13:03,883 --> 01:13:06,719 and even by some miracle, if I happened upon you, 1098 01:13:08,054 --> 01:13:09,889 I'm not sure I would recognize you. 1099 01:13:12,433 --> 01:13:13,810 Time is cruel that way. 1100 01:13:15,770 --> 01:13:18,898 In these intervening 42 years, I've lived a good life. 1101 01:13:19,732 --> 01:13:21,524 I've loved a good woman. 1102 01:13:21,526 --> 01:13:23,567 I've raised a good man. 1103 01:13:23,569 --> 01:13:25,569 I have hard days, too. 1104 01:13:25,571 --> 01:13:27,238 My wife passed away four years ago, 1105 01:13:27,240 --> 01:13:28,658 and my son, the year before. 1106 01:13:32,412 --> 01:13:34,664 I can still smell the smoke over Vietnam. 1107 01:13:35,665 --> 01:13:38,000 But then I think of you. 1108 01:13:40,461 --> 01:13:42,422 I never really stopped thinking of you. 1109 01:13:43,798 --> 01:13:48,509 (keyboard clacks) (gentle music continues) 1110 01:13:48,511 --> 01:13:50,721 So, wherever you've been, wherever you are, 1111 01:13:51,931 --> 01:13:53,224 and wherever you're going, 1112 01:13:54,434 --> 01:13:55,933 know this. 1113 01:13:55,935 --> 01:13:57,353 You're always with me. 1114 01:14:02,108 --> 01:14:05,528 But as I cast this coin into the wishing well of the cosmos, 1115 01:14:07,321 --> 01:14:08,448 it occurs to me, 1116 01:14:09,907 --> 01:14:13,161 after a million what-ifs in a lifetime of lost sleep, 1117 01:14:15,538 --> 01:14:16,706 that our connection 1118 01:14:19,083 --> 01:14:20,293 wasn't missed at all. 1119 01:14:23,296 --> 01:14:27,133 (melancholy orchestral music) 1120 01:14:41,772 --> 01:14:45,608 I met you on that night, back in 1972. 1121 01:14:45,610 --> 01:14:50,281 (melancholy orchestral music continues) 1122 01:15:23,857 --> 01:15:28,487 (melancholy orchestral music continues) 1123 01:16:23,709 --> 01:16:28,380 (melancholy orchestral music continues) 1124 01:16:35,345 --> 01:16:37,931 (somber music) 1125 01:17:33,779 --> 01:17:37,157 (somber music continues)